Here is the original text of Washington's 1796 Farewell Address.
Here is a contemporary translation,written by the author of xkcd.
Please read them both. It is surprising how much language changes in two centuries. Please be indulgent of the xkcd author's use of contemporary slang. He is more interested in meaning than in style here.
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Remember the purpose of the Farewell Party. I reserve the right to delete comments I regard as excessively partisan. We are trying to build a bridge, to create a political path that intelligent and conscientious Republicans and Democrats can endorse. Cheering on one team at the expense of another does not serve that purpose.